SAA Day One: Look Me in the Eye

If day one of SAA is any indication of the conference as a whole, we will be spending a lot of time in dangerously crowded trolleys. Simplicius tells true: we rode together in the back of what was essentially an open-sided bus from the conference hotel to the opening reception... although reception is probably the wrong word, since it suggests a certain level of welcome. It was more of an expulsion than a reception... 800 deeply unhappy professors stuffed into a room made to hold no more than, say, 500 deeply drunk suburban teenagers. We drank our free beer, then fled. I can only hope the luncheon takes place somewhere other than a mid-sized Chipotle. Mmmmm... cleverly disguised fast food. Also, people, look me in the eye! It's a bit of a conference cliche -- everyone casually, quickly, looking at everyone else's name tags. It's my one opportunity to feel like I'm being checked out in some way... and I don't like it! I'm more than my (remarkably attractive) name and institutional affiliation! I'm also, um, glasses! I don't know why it's bugging me more than usual this time around. But it is. Look me in the eye when you shake my hand.