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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Woodcut Caption Contest 6 (In with the Old)

My New Year's Resolution:

Think up amusing captions for 17th-century ballad woodcuts.


Here's to a productive year for one and all.

(We'll announce the winner in a few weeks.)

  • At 1/01/2007 08:49:00 AM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    I'll get the ball rolling... Thought of a couple:

    1. "Black Sabbath, c. 1622"
    2. "Finger-Licking Good Since 1635."
    3. "The Lancashire Amateur Barnyard Players presents Titus Andronicus."
    4. "Revenge is a dish best served cold. Evidently, so is pigeon."
    5. "What are you two laughing at? This is just the entree..."

    Hopefully others will have more inspired offerings!

     

  • At 1/01/2007 10:23:00 PM, Blogger Truewit wrote…

    bdh, I was actually considering putting a note in the post itself warning you away from KFC jokes. (number 3, however, is excellent.)

     

  • At 1/02/2007 05:39:00 AM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    Rats. No more KFC jokes. Another entry:

    "Due to extensive deforestation and moderate poverty, William was forced to turn to livestock as a material for building traditional instruments. The 'pigeon pipes' proved unpopular with the folk music crowd, while the 'haggis whistle' continues to be sold to unsuspecting tourists up to this day."

     

  • At 1/03/2007 10:59:00 AM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    The battle of Lent and Crazy.

     

  • At 1/03/2007 11:08:00 AM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    While it usually got a standing ovation, Whitfield's Traveling Sideshow act did not impress the audience at their infamous Land of Cockaigne gig, March 1628.

     

  • At 1/03/2007 03:26:00 PM, Anonymous Crispinella wrote…

    Boar: “It’s his ‘dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth’ thing. Again.”

     

  • At 1/03/2007 03:45:00 PM, Anonymous Pedantius wrote…

    "When the wind was northerly, Farmer Fourbrows didn't know a hawk from a harmonica."

     

  • At 1/04/2007 08:19:00 AM, Blogger Adam Roberts wrote…

    And the winner of this year's 'Annual Westphalia Grow Thy Moustache Into The Shape Of Pigeon Wings' competition is ...

     

  • At 1/04/2007 12:36:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    "Colonel Angus just loved to eat birds."

    If you're unfamiliar with Colonel Angus, here he is.

     

  • At 1/04/2007 04:40:00 PM, Blogger ard wrote…

    Having caused widespread hysteria among the girls, George Villers turns his amorous attentions to fowl, hog and sheep.

     

  • At 1/04/2007 06:24:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    As the result of a bad bet at the pig races, Farmer Cotton was forced to eat crow -- thereby inadvertently entering linguistic history.

     

  • At 1/05/2007 12:00:00 AM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    "Shunned by his friends as an Italianate lunatic, Colin continued to develop his new line of 'crow cravats'. Understandably, they never displaced the ruff. Colin suspected fowl-play..."

    Ok. It's AWFUL on so many levels, but I've given you GOLD before. In the interests of good taste, this will officially be my last entry...

     

  • At 1/05/2007 01:07:00 AM, Anonymous tempestsarekind wrote…

    Jaques: "Dude, I know I said 'with good capon lined,' but that's just gross."

     

  • At 1/05/2007 06:31:00 AM, Anonymous Henrik wrote…

    To follow up on the roaring success of his two stage shows "Swallowe Thyne Ant" and "Swallowe Thyne Cricket",
    William came up with "Swallowe Thyne Swallow". He should perhaps have stopped at that.

     

  • At 1/05/2007 10:00:00 AM, Anonymous ard wrote…

    Little known fact: Zamfir, master of the pan flute, plays a pretty mean sparrow.

     

  • At 1/07/2007 11:53:00 AM, Anonymous Gavin wrote…

    I think the woodcut might well have been reused for a whole series of pamphlets:


    A True and exacte Relation of the late attackes of Monstrous Killer Birdes upon divers gentilmen and littel children

    The Complaint of the Middling Sort of England, wherein is shewed that the Killer Birdes are the fault of the present govt and that SOMETHING MUST BE DONE

    The Vindication of the Killer Bird, shewing that the fault be more in the owners than in the birds

     

  • At 1/07/2007 09:11:00 PM, Blogger dhawhee wrote…

    mmm. squab.

     

  • At 1/07/2007 10:56:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    dhawhee: is that an official entry or are you just jonesing for squab?

     

  • At 1/07/2007 11:18:00 PM, Blogger j wrote…

    "Alice of Coopersham"

     

  • At 1/08/2007 01:24:00 PM, Anonymous e. fiction wrote…

    When Noah gave into a sudden fit of acrasia, the pig and the lamb could only watch and lament the extinction of the brisket-faced robin, the crowning (and admittedly tastiest) achievement of God's fifth-day creations.

     

  • At 1/09/2007 10:13:00 AM, Blogger Adam wrote…

    a couple ...

    1. "Single pigeon vomits up pig, sheep, man"

    2. "Bush [pictured, right] announces new direction in Iraq policy: 'farmyard animals' to play 'key role'."

     

  • At 1/12/2007 07:03:00 PM, Anonymous tfs wrote…

    I got 99 problems but a finch ain't one.

     

  • At 1/17/2007 10:03:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous wrote…

    When dining with his Jewish friends, John could be obscene / He reveled in his Christian right to eat all things unclean.

     


 Scribble some marginalia



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