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Saturday, April 08, 2006

There is a special providence in the tipping of a cap.

I promise not to turn this into a sports blog (with exceptions made for the Book of Sports), but what with the Passover/Easter season hard upon us, I thought we might turn to St. Beltran for some inspiring words. From today's Times, his thoughts on acknowledging cheering fans after hitting a home run, his first hit of the season:

"Well, I went out," Beltran said. "I just took my time. Like I say, at the beginning, I don't feel like doing it, but I just put myself in the situation of what would God have done in a situation like that. You know, I'm a Christian guy, and after getting booed the first two days, and all of a sudden you come through and get a hit and all of a sudden they want you to go out in a curtain call, I put myself right there and I do believe God would have gone out."

What would God do "in a situation like that"? Well, first off, he likely wouldn't have started the season 0 for 9. If he had, it would have been part of a divine plan leading up to the moment of the redeeming home run itself, the home run he hit for all of us. But the question remains: once God hit the home run, would he then resent the sudden joy of those who had forsaken him during the previous nine at-bats during which he hit predestined ground-outs and the occasional providential pop-fly with runners at first and third? I don't think so. God enjoys a lingering ovation from anyone, regardless of how many times it has been suggested that he is an overpaid drain on the resources of a people/team. Thus, as he humbly points out, St. Beltran acted as a holy man should, forgiving the faithless masses who earn in a year one-half of his daily wage, and gracing us all with his kind acquiescence to our blind adulation. I will burn three Dave Kingman cards in his honor this Pascal season.

  • At 4/08/2006 11:16:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    Ah, Dave Kingman. Truewit, you know me too well. Who can forget Kingman's magical 1982 season, in which he led the league with 37 homeruns while batting .204? You just don't see numbers like that anymore. Yes, the Mets finished in last place that year, but they were actually around .500 about sixty games into the season. Other leaders on that team included the pitchers Neil Allen, Charlie Puleo, Craig Swan, a young Jesse Orosco, and opening day starter (and former Cy Young Award winner) Randy Jones, and the sluggers Rusty Staub, Hubie Brooks, a disappointing George Foster, a strong-armed Ellis Valentine, the double-play combo Ron Gardenhire and Wally Backman, and everyone's favorite, Mookie Wilson. (I'll clearly never know the Renaissance the way I do 1980s baseball.)


  • At 4/09/2006 10:34:00 AM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    And of course John Stearns. I can't believe I forgot John Stearns (even got his autograph that fall, on his rookie card no less).


  • At 4/09/2006 11:59:00 AM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    Joel Youngblood?


  • At 4/09/2006 10:18:00 PM, Blogger Greenwit wrote…

    Doug Flynn.

    See under: "In like..."


  • At 4/09/2006 10:26:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Jebus. What the hell is wrong with you people?


  • At 4/09/2006 11:47:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    Since you bring it up...the interesting thing about Joel Youngblood in 1982 is that he was traded to the Montreal Expos and, given the miracle of airplane travel, managed to play for two teams in one day (the Mets had an afternoon game that day, the Expos a night game).

    As for Doug Flynn, he played for the Mets in 1981, which means you would have had him on a Mets baseball card in 1982. But in that year he was playing (and not hitting) for Texas and Montreal.


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