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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Acrostically speaking, we don't like the Vice President

Here it is, as composed by Inkhorn, Simplicius, Bardiac and me: the most vicious fake Renaissance acrostic epigram ever ever written about our Vice President (I took the liberty of standarizing our English).

D estroy all formes of life, thou demon spawne!
I nterr trew logick's spirit under lawne.
C ut down the honest critick in blind rage;
K eep bloodie doves imprison’d in a cage.

C ringing subordinates and flatterie
H ave separated you from realitie.
E atinge children, except your gaye daughter;
N ot Mary, goe send ye reste to slaughter.
E v'ry friend's afeared to hunt for byrdes neare
Y ou; and loyal cronies know gaol to feare!

Oh, snap!

Seriously: this is pretty good. Gets nicely insane at line 7, I think. We should do some more.

  • At 2/07/2007 05:00:00 PM, Blogger Greenwit wrote…

    for those of you confused by the "eating children" joke, please watch the following:



  • At 2/07/2007 08:05:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    I'm glad to have contributed the nonsensical lines that tip us into insanity, but really, what kind of underground verse would we have produced if there were no insanity?


  • At 2/07/2007 11:01:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Come on Malcolm Kline, where are you?


  • At 2/08/2007 12:50:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    M uddled thoughts mangle my dear precious prose,
    A nd laughter mocks my lame linguistic woes.


  • At 2/08/2007 01:00:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    L inguistic verbiage pompous I defy,
    C ome down off professorial horses high.
    O ! what's this? Textuality's a word indeed?


  • At 2/08/2007 01:02:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    Gave you a little volta there in line 5, for our dear readers to complete the rhyme. Enjoy.

    (I admit to liking my use of the acrostic "O" as an interjection.)


  • At 2/08/2007 01:33:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    L et others over truth and accuracy bleed;
    M ine is the ignorant ass’s creed.

    Couldn't figure out how to make bold letters in the comment function.


  • At 2/08/2007 01:34:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    (I turned it back).


  • At 2/08/2007 01:41:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    Delightfully turned, Ink.

    Inkhorn isn't great at html, unlike some of us.


  • At 2/08/2007 01:50:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    Although Inkhorn has left our next contributor with the requirement to complete a rhyme on "creed" that will mean two "eed" rhyme-pairs in a row. Oh well.


  • At 2/08/2007 01:54:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Oh, I didn't realize we were pressing on into "Kline" -- I was just going with a three-line rhyme to end "Malcolm." I guess, if we're forging ahead, we should revise that "creed" to start a new couplet, since the whole name is 12 lines.

    I welcome any and all revisions.


  • At 2/08/2007 01:59:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    No, we'll start a new stanza. Let's bring it home Drayton style.

    K neeling down to sulk with his fair cigar,
    L ouring at the foul gibes flung from afar,


  • At 2/08/2007 02:36:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Tricky -- switching us to third person...


  • At 2/08/2007 02:58:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    I tellectuals quake at his vile jeers
    N ever, except to laugh over some beers;
    E rrant wits give no real reason for fear.

    Not sure I'm happy with that one. But at least I figured out the boldface.


  • At 2/08/2007 02:59:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Also we'd need to repunctuate the end of the second line in stanza 2...

    Maybe somebody's got something better...


  • At 2/08/2007 03:03:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    We're developing something of a Miltonic reputation for enjambment in these acrostics. Nice "Never" in line 11. And wonderful bold.


  • At 2/08/2007 03:18:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    K neeling down to sulk with his fair cigar,
    L ouring at the foul gibes flung from afar,
    I nsisting intersection's a hard word,
    N ever to be grasped by the right-wing herd,
    E 'en now, he knows not why he's called a foul...bird.


  • At 2/08/2007 10:28:00 PM, Blogger Greenwit wrote…

    I leave the blog for six hours and this is what I return to? Brilliant.


  • At 2/08/2007 10:40:00 PM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    Awesome. And now -- in true MS circulation form -- we have variant versions. We'll need some kind of an HTML genius to sort this out.


 Scribble some marginalia

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