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Friday, May 12, 2006

Friday Woodcut Caption Contest #2

More sophomoric than Friday poetry blogging, less allergenic than Friday cat blogging, more on Fridays than Theory Tuesdays, it's ... our second silly woodcut caption contest!

So put on your, well, let's call them "captioning hats," and join in: everyone's a winner. In reality, of course, I'm lying. Only one person will be the winner of the grand prize, which is, as always, the valuable "respect of our readership." But, and this is what Sir Mix-A-Lot would call a big but, everyone who plays will win a lovely gift just for participating: the "appreciation of our readership." Not as good as respect, I know, but we only have so much money for prizes.

(True, our original silly woodcut caption contest was posted on a Thursday, not a Friday, but that is just our very clever way of deconstructing origin myths and revealing that all traditions are invented traditions. So there.)

[image taken from STC 13369]

  • At 5/12/2006 12:00:00 PM, Blogger Greenwit wrote…

    I'll get the ball of thread rolling...

    "It's not women's work when you do it."


  • At 5/12/2006 03:06:00 PM, Blogger La Lecturess wrote…

    Sorry, folks, but nothing that I could possibly come up with would be as funny as this line:

    But, and this is what Sir Mix-A-Lot would call a big but. . .

    Still, I'll work on my distaff jokes.


  • At 5/12/2006 04:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous wrote…

    Mark my words: someday, spinning classes will be all the rage.


  • At 5/12/2006 11:32:00 PM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    "But can you make your finger curve like this?"


  • At 5/13/2006 08:27:00 AM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    Woodcut from a broadside advertising Puritanism: "We do actually know how to have fun."


    "This is turning out to be a real sausage-fest. At least Quaker parties have women..."


  • At 5/13/2006 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Simplicius wrote…

    "Wait, you know Alisoun too?"


  • At 5/13/2006 11:32:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous wrote…

    Ok, I totally stole this from "40 year old virgin" but I think the caption should be:

    "Oh yeah? You know how I know *you're* gay?"


  • At 5/13/2006 12:08:00 PM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    @midmodern – "It's the shoes, isn't it"


  • At 5/13/2006 04:19:00 PM, Blogger Pamphilia wrote…

    "When Adam delved, and Steve span . . ."


  • At 5/14/2006 11:39:00 AM, Blogger Greenwit wrote…

    thanks to Hieronimo's stc clue, I am now thinking Bridewell humor:

    "Trust me: this is a great way to meet harlots."

    Man, I'm suddenly wishing I had picked a different screen name. Having troubles living up to it. Can I be Justice Shallow from now on?


  • At 5/15/2006 10:49:00 AM, Blogger La Lecturess wrote…

    "Better look busy--Omphale is coming!"

    (I'm so unfunny, I can't stand it.)


  • At 5/15/2006 11:19:00 AM, Blogger Inkhorn wrote…

    "Hey, nice calves."

    "You too."


  • At 5/15/2006 02:43:00 PM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    Was I the only one that initially thought those two dangling bits in the middle were previously dangling bits attached to the two figures?


    "You know, we didn't have to castrate ourselves to do this"
    "Shut up Nathaniel... Keep spinning..."


  • At 5/15/2006 02:47:00 PM, Blogger Hieronimo wrote…

    @ bdh--ha! Although that entry might have to disqualify your previous "sausage-fest" entry, since the Renaissance tended to interpret castration as meaning the whole package (at least in their more hysterical rants about Turks), didn't they? Which would make the two captions sort of mutually exclusive. Not that we're counting or anything.


  • At 5/16/2006 01:31:00 AM, Blogger bdh wrote…

    @hieronimo -- castration is a bit of a pickle (pun intended), and you often find English authors conflating/confusing it with circumcision (e.g. in A Christian Turn'd Turk and The Renegado). Also, they're two separate entries ; )


  • At 5/16/2006 01:37:00 AM, Blogger Pamphilia wrote…

    I can't help but look at this picture and see some sort of puritan s&m scenario, with forced feminization and a threatened flogging (with the loom paddles). But for some reason I can't come up with a funny caption for that.

    Anyone . . . anyone . . .?


  • At 5/16/2006 04:04:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous wrote…

    "Yes, I *am* going to sulk until you tell me the secret of how you get your loom to hang in the air like that. You know how short of space we are at home since Kat had the last baby..."


 Scribble some marginalia

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