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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Professor Quoque's Historie Years of the Day

1500: Ants.
1501: Ants.
1502: Plague Rages But Not Black Yet; Looks Kind of Dark Brownish?
1503: Monks of St Swithinsgate Don Particolor Hoods in Best Jest of Century.
1504: Henry VII tells son Henry that he’ll never be King with that attitude... in LATIN.
1505: First Warm Ale Day Observed in Boundsmanshire Hollow.
1506: Howlets in the Jestbook (Re-)Invented
1507: Not A Year Until Gregorian Calendar Adapted in 1558.
1508: 250,000th singing of Greensleeves.
1509: New King Henry VIII invents Lute Pie.
1510: Rogationtide Day Massacre!
1511: Cromwell Gets Crommed... Well.
1512: Death’s Head With Rose In Mouth Invented.
1513: Bishop of Lancashire says “QUID?” with Mouth Full.
1514: Teeth Discovered By Galileo.
1515: Country Celebrates “Anno De Doublensis Fifteeniensis.”
1516: Country Mourns During “Anno De Non Doublensis.”
1517: Henry VIII Eats Favorite Fool, Sloppy John.
1518: Goblets, Goblets, and MORE Goblets.
1519: Maiden Loses Mind Trying To Find Buttery Bar.
1520: Morris Dance of Devonshire Kills Eighty.
1521: Erasmus High.
1522: The Actually Black Plague Rages.
1523: Bells Discovered.
1524: Cardinal Wolsey Considers a Mule.
1525: Catherine of Aragon Lords “Aragon” Over Us Again.
1526: Cordwainer Wains Cords For a Groat.
1527: Robert Cranstow, 3rd Duke of Suffolk, Invades His Own Pants.
1528: Green Man Wrestles Papal Bull.
1529: Boke of the Growlynge Published.
1530: Court Poet John Skelton Invents “Blah blah blah.”
1531: Anne of Cleves Has Vision of Flaming River.
1532: Birth of Death.
1533: Merchant Taylors Guild Invents Money.
1534: Nicholas of Cusa Says “Call Me Nicholas of Cusa.”
1535: Peter Pumblepepper Up-Fangles Margery Maidmendler... Again!
1536: Dragons Now Extinct South of River Trent.
1537: Imagination Discovered Cowering in Charnel House.
1538: Henry VIII Accidentally Knights Duck.
1539: Sir Quackington Defeats the Earl of Essex in Joust.
1540: Henry VIII Eats Sir Quackington with Orange Sauce.
1541: England Realizes It Had Reformation, Feels Bloated.


 Scribble some marginalia



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