Professor Quoque's Historie Years of the Day
1500: Ants. 1501: Ants. 1502: Plague Rages But Not Black Yet; Looks Kind of Dark Brownish? 1503: Monks of St Swithinsgate Don Particolor Hoods in Best Jest of Century. 1504: Henry VII tells son Henry that he’ll never be King with that attitude... in LATIN. 1505: First Warm Ale Day Observed in Boundsmanshire Hollow. 1506: Howlets in the Jestbook (Re-)Invented 1507: Not A Year Until Gregorian Calendar Adapted in 1558. 1508: 250,000th singing of Greensleeves. 1509: New King Henry VIII invents Lute Pie. 1510: Rogationtide Day Massacre! 1511: Cromwell Gets Crommed... Well. 1512: Death’s Head With Rose In Mouth Invented. 1513: Bishop of Lancashire says “QUID?” with Mouth Full. 1514: Teeth Discovered By Galileo. 1515: Country Celebrates “Anno De Doublensis Fifteeniensis.” 1516: Country Mourns During “Anno De Non Doublensis.” 1517: Henry VIII Eats Favorite Fool, Sloppy John. 1518: Goblets, Goblets, and MORE Goblets. 1519: Maiden Loses Mind Trying To Find Buttery Bar. 1520: Morris Dance of Devonshire Kills Eighty. 1521: Erasmus High. 1522: The Actually Black Plague Rages. 1523: Bells Discovered. 1524: Cardinal Wolsey Considers a Mule. 1525: Catherine of Aragon Lords “Aragon” Over Us Again. 1526: Cordwainer Wains Cords For a Groat. 1527: Robert Cranstow, 3rd Duke of Suffolk, Invades His Own Pants. 1528: Green Man Wrestles Papal Bull. 1529: Boke of the Growlynge Published. 1530: Court Poet John Skelton Invents “Blah blah blah.” 1531: Anne of Cleves Has Vision of Flaming River. 1532: Birth of Death. 1533: Merchant Taylors Guild Invents Money. 1534: Nicholas of Cusa Says “Call Me Nicholas of Cusa.” 1535: Peter Pumblepepper Up-Fangles Margery Maidmendler... Again! 1536: Dragons Now Extinct South of River Trent. 1537: Imagination Discovered Cowering in Charnel House. 1538: Henry VIII Accidentally Knights Duck. 1539: Sir Quackington Defeats the Earl of Essex in Joust. 1540: Henry VIII Eats Sir Quackington with Orange Sauce. 1541: England Realizes It Had Reformation, Feels Bloated. |
Scribble some marginalia
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